Should I have been less this or perhaps a bit more that?
To anyone unfamiliar with these procedures I will quote from a Performance Review Guide.
The only changes I have made in its wording I have indicated by brackets, wherein I have adapted the lingo of industry (e.g.
employee, supervisor, management company) to that of private relationships: “Performance Planning is designed to bring (the partners) together at intervals to renew their mutual understanding of activities and priorities that relate to (their mutual) goals, define what routine parts of the (relationship) looks like when they are done satisfactorily, develop a plan for the next review period and define the results to be achieved with emphasis on improvements and personal development targets.
This encourages (the partners) to develop a closer, team-oriented relationship, brings (each person’s) performance and goals more in harmony with and supportive of (their joint) overall objectives and focuses on planning rather than judgment.” Who in an intimate relationship could quarrel with this, although they might well use less jargon?
As a therapist I recommend such structured conversations a minimum of weekly and preferably daily for couples who aren’t all that great about communicating.